Is knowing your topic really enough?

Why isn’t this easy?

When we’re on the outside looking in, the link seems obvious. Talking about what you know should be simple, we know it – we just have to say it. When I began working on my own confidence, with many others doing the same, I realised that this isn’t always true. I began to realise that it’s not what we know, it’s how we feel about what we know, and our relationship with what we might say. Too often we ask ourselves ‘how will I be judged for this?’ rather than ‘how well do I know this?’

We are asked to share our story – we wonder if it will be too boring or too much. Will we be believed? Are we virtue signalling? Will it show us as a terrible human being? Will someone in the audience know us and have a different view?

When we are asked to talk about our expertise, we question what depth of knowledge we should share. Should we use more jargon to prove our knowledge or do we talk in simple terms and risk being thought we’re faking it? Sometimes the pressure to get it right when we talk on our expert topic is actually far greater. When our reputation is at stake then it really does feel like every word matters.

When we are asked about our business, we fear that someone will tell us our business model is stupid, unworkable, too ambitious or not enough. We question whether the feedback we’ve had is valid and emphasise the negative over the positive. We might think we’re not yet successful or established enough, we might know people see us as very successful and are ready to bring us down a peg or two.

Of course there’ll be many times when none of this happens, we know what we’re doing, we feel comfortable and the words flow. But is there anything we can do when they don’t?

Dealing with those internal questions

Building a good relationship with our content isn’t about learning a script. It’s about building a deeper level of confidence, where we trust we’ll be ok if things don’t go to plan. Here are some tips for when those earlier questions start getting in your way.

Confidence sharing our story.

First, decide why you want to share. Sometimes we think we need to share to impress, but often it’s to be relatable or reassuring that they’re in safe hands. When you know why it’s important then those questions can be a little quieter.

Second, decide what you’re ready to share and what you’re not. While sharing is good it’s not always necessary to go beyond our comfort zone. If you feel it is, then practise that part out loud until you’re comfortable hearing it said in your own voice.

Confidence talking about our area of expertise

When speaking about your expertise becomes challenging it’s often because we’re thinking about the wrong people in the room. We wonder what our competitors will say, when we need to focus on our potential clients. We worry that our colleagues would put things differently, although it’s people outside of the team who matter.

Think about the audience you need to reach. The ones who don’t share your expertise. The ones who may not know your industry jargon or specifics but need to appreciate how your content will impact them. Making it about your audience can help you reframe your challenges.

Confidence talking about our business

If we’re going to be confident talking about our own business then we need to have a real belief in our own purpose and path. Purpose doesn’t have to be big to be unshakable. Belief in our path doesn’t mean we can’t be at the beginning, or that we can’t change our plans or step back and review. It means having a clear understanding that the only person responsible for making the decisions is you.

Working on this one thing can be the biggest confidence boost for talking about your business. Realising that what other people might say is simply noise is a game changer. You are there for the people who are ready to go with you, while the others stand aside.

Journaling for confidence – Journaling can be an enlightening way to build our self belief, I offer a free download of journal prompts designed exactly for this, called Write before you speak. You can grab it here Write before you speak

In summary

Just because someone tells you to be confident, doesn’t mean that you will be. It can help to know others have faith in you, but ultimately it’s down to you, and your relationship with what you’re about to say. No amount of chivvying or beating yourself up is likely to change your inner confidence but working on your clarity can.

Want to work on your confidence?

Want to discover more about building your speaking confidence? It’s just one of the topics I’ll be covering in the Softly Inspired Summer School, starting July 21st.

Find out more about the Summer School program for which includes 6 live trainings for just £45 https://softlyinspired.co.uk/softly-inspired-summer-school/